Due to release her sixth album, LP1, in July, it seems highly improbable that bubbly British soul singer and talented Tudors actress, [lastfm link_type=”artist_info”]Joss Stone[/lastfm], would be the alleged victim of a senseless conspiracy by two men (who are currently being held under arrest) to rob and murder her. While official statements do not explicitly name Stone as the target, the men had readied themselves with swords, rope, a body bag, and aerial photos of Stone’s England home.
Stone’s rich, sultry voice has been a hit with critics, but has stayed under the radar in terms of mainstream play; Stone is totally underrated and we’re glad her robbery and murder are not the last we have heard of the effervescent English lass.
If you’ve never heard Stone’s voice, check out our list of our Top 10 Favorite Joss Stone Songs. Stone seems like a girl with a big sense of humor, so we think she’d like our tongue-in-cheek take on the events.
10. “Tell Me ‘Bout It”
Maybe the guys got confused when Joss Stone sang “I need a little lovin’ at least two times a day.” Maybe they heard “robbin'” instead of “lovin’.”
Hey, mistakes happen.
9. “4 And 20”
“Many moons have come and gone,” and we bet if those guys actually get arrested for their alleged crimes, they will be in jail way longer than “4 and 20 hours.”
8. “Big Ol Game”
We can see Joss asking about the reported target on her: You know, sometimes/See, I find myself confused/It’s always “why this” and “why that.”
Why Joss? People are just playing a “Big Ol Game” with a lot of pieces missing in their brain. That’s why.
Stone was very calm about the whole affair, but you know there is only so much she can stand:
By now you should know it/That I’m a girl who don’t give a ish/There comes a point even for me/I got my pride
6. “Tell Me What We’re Gonna Do Now”
If Joss gets stressed out thinking about these robbing and murdering shenanigans, she can just take practice the wise message Common singers in her song “Tell Me What We’re Gonna Do Now”:
Right now lets stay in the present/Can’t worry bout tomorrow cause today is a blessin/The world in a state of aggression
5. “Bad Habit”
Orchestrating a robbery/murder takes a lot of insanity, maybe even a crazy fixation on Joss Stone herself. Do you think her alleged attackers were saying to themselves:
Always got someone out lookin for you/And sometimes I just wanna knock you out/You’d say I’d lost half of my brain/Clinically I’m insane/’Cause I fiend for you bad (for you bad)
4. “You Got The Love”
We really hope Joss Stone doesn’t throw her hands up in the air because we totally care. And for your information, Joss, your fans have the love you need to see you through.
3. “Super Duper Love”
There was either too much “diggin'” or too little “diggin'” going on from Stone’s alleged almost attackers. We can’t decide. We guess we are just “diggin'” for meaning where there is none.
2. “You Had Me”
We wonder if Joss Stone is sitting in her home laughing and thinking:
You had me/You lost me/You’re wasted/You cost me/I don’t want you here messing with my mind
Thankfully, for all of us, Joss Stone can go back to her “true love”: her music.
I’m so in love with my music/The way you keep me/Movin/Ain’t nobody doing what you’re doing/Doing, doing/So bring me back to the day/When tape decks press play/DJ drop the needle til the/Record just break/You are my sunlight/You are the one mic/That sound so sweet because the beat just inspires me
- Did we miss an awesome Joss Stone song? Let us know in the comments!