This post is for those who dread the idea of Valentine’s Day like some unwanted disease. The people who claim it’s the most bipolar holiday ever created (like me). Maybe you’re one of them:

The Workaholic:  For you pre-dawn revelers who are just too busy to cram a love life in your deadline-infested schedule. Not only is Valentine’s Day just another day at the office, it’s meaning is about as important to you as the paper submitted through your shredder.

The Victim:  Whether you’ve been susceptible to a philandering tease or a gut-wrenching case of infidelity, it’s never fun to be on the wrong side of a dirty relationship.

The Hopeless Romantic:  Waiting for someone to sweep you off your feet, but keep finding lemons? Maybe it’s time to stop living vicariously through The Notebook.

The Dispassionate Cynic:  If there is such a thing as “true love,” than Cupid is hogging it all for himself.

If you fall under any of these categories, this post is for you.

“Love Stinks” – J. Geils Band

A mandatory addition to the list regardless of how semi-crappy the song truly is.  So I posted Adam Sandler’s hilarious rendition from the film The Wedding Singer instead; featuring a classic example of one of his famous fits of anger.

“Sometime Around Midnight” – The Airborne Toxic Event

This is a song that does not suck.  Sad?  Certainly.  Unless your name is Don “Magic” Juan, you’ve probably been afflicted by a similar situation.

“Here Today, Gone Tomorrow” – The Ramones

“Here Today, Gone Tomorrow” is themed around the love/hate relationship.  Such as (in extreme cases) the couples that break up every three months, then get back together, then break up, and so on.  You here such false declarations as these on the reg, “No, dude.  I’m telling you, it’s for sure over this time.”  But Dude knows.  That’s just a big ole’ pile of verbal poopy.

“Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now” – The Smiths

Not the biggest fan of Morrissey (sorry Silverlake), but here’s a goody if you view life through a somewhat gloomier lens. Cathartic for some.  Downright depressing for others. Regardless, it’s a perfect song for singles who want to rejoice in their Valentine’s Day melancholy.

“Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)” – Green Day

So your squeeze just got up and bounced huh?  Maybe even moved to Ecuador (like Billy Joe’s girl who inspired this song)?  Life can get pretty rough in one tragically spontaneous moment.  If not for those moments, however, we wouldn’t have great anti-love songs such as these.

“Somebody That I Used To Know” – Gotye

You probably haven’t heard of this one…but I think it’s totally hip and accessible.

Now if we could just get Kimbra to face the camera, that would be grrrrreat.

“Tainted Love” – Soft Cell

Marilyn Manson covered it.  Rihanna clipped it.  But did you know “Tainted Love” was originally performed by 60’s singer Gloria Jones?  Now take that golden nugget of knowledge and use it the next time you go on a date.  All of your love problems will be resolved.  Guaranteed.

“Last Goodbye” – Jeff Buckley

This one is heavy, and one of my favorites.  Buckley’s ethereal vocals juxtapose a rather desolate song about losing a loved one, and belongs on any list of this nature.

“Love Will Tear Us Apart” – Joy Division

Another great song that’s holistically kind of a downer.  Ian Curtis wrote “Love Will Tear Us Apart” after his divorce from wife Deborah, committing suicide soon thereafter.  Curtis passed in 1980, and the remaining members formed New Order who went on to create another renowned love-stricken track titled “Bizarre Love Triangle.”

“Black” – Pearl Jam

The perfect “love stinks” song for any KROQ aficionado.  The meaning behind Vedder’s lyrics have undergone boatloads of public theory, but that’s typical with his lyrical poetry.  As real and as passionate of a song you’ll ever submit yourself to.


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