By Stephanie Griffin

Warning: major spoilers ahead.

I’m not ready, and I don’t think any of us are ready, for ‘This Is Us‘ to return tonight at 9/8c on NBC. The last five minutes of the season two premiere last Tuesday still gives me chills. We are now one step closer to knowing the cause of Jack’s death, and it’s making it even harder to accept the fate of one of my favorite TV dads.

The season premiere begins in the present-day around The Big Three’s 37th birthday (as the series premiere did last year). Randall is still in awe about adopting, Kevin is somehow making his relationship with Sophie work while filming a movie across the country, and Kate is not only making progress with her weight loss but is finally getting out of her shell and being confident in her own skin. I’m interested in seeing how well their character development plays out this season. But while we have this to look forward to in the weeks ahead, I’m not ready to see how Jack’s final weeks and days play out over the course of this season’s flashbacks.

So many questions were left at the end of last week’s episode like how did it even happen? How bad was Jack’s drinking problem? When did Kate get a dog? Is that Randall’s girlfriend? When did Kevin get a cast on his leg? Why is Rebecca wearing a Steelers jersey? What caused that fire?

I fell in love with this show, as I’m sure many of you also did, because I not only love nostalgia or anything with flashbacks, but the characters make me want to be a part of this family. We may not be going through the same experiences as these characters are, but their storylines keep bringing us back week after week. I especially want to know how these characters got to be the people they are today because of Jack, and how his legacy is being lived on. If you’re like me, we may not be ready to find out all the answers yet, but I’m hoping tonight’s episode helps me recoup. *grabs tissues*

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