Matt Munson from The Bachelorette and Bachelor In Paradise stopped by to dish with Gina J on dating and relationships, offering his male perspective.
This week’s topic addresses why men lead women on. (And vice versa sometimes, too!)
Matt: In my mind, we’ve all been guilty of this. I think anyone who leads someone on is trying to maintain their options. It’s us not wanting to be pinned down. It’s also an attention thing and this goes for both men and women.
Gina: Here’s a couple of ways to know if you’re being lead on… first one! He isn’t into labels.
Matt: Labels can be restricting. We like to be able to stretch our arms out a bit.
Gina: It’s that hard thing about “dating”, “seeing”, or “girlfriend.”
Matt: I don’t think there’s anything wrong expecting someone to give whatever’s going on a definition. Because when you get around friends and family, it’s awkward when you don’t know how to introduce someone. Women take to that more than more than men do – it’s the guy’s job to sort of ride the brake a little bit and not get that definition too soon.
Gina: I have a friend who does this to women; they’ll say, “Hey, so what are we doing, what’s going on between us?” And he says, “We’re having fun, let’s see what happens,” but he’s playing a bunch of different women behind their backs.
Gina: Another sign. He does not immediately respond to your texts.
Matt: That’s part of the game! That’s like jockeying for position. I don’t care how old you are, people play games!
Gina: Next one… he cancels a lot.
Matt: So how many times does he have to cancel before you realize he’s not interested?
Gina: I’m going by one person I did date – he canceled a lot toward the end and the excuses sounded legit, and then he’d be on the phone with me for hours that night, so it’s like, what do you want?
Matt: We’re not the best at making up our minds. That goes back to wanting to have options.
Gina: He texts you a lot but never makes any plans with you.
Matt: It goes back to the attention thing. That is a reason for anybody to just diffuse the situation, break it off! If you can’t take the time out, then obviously, you’re not that interested.