Matt Munson from The Bachelorette and Bachelor In Paradise stopped by to dish with Gina J on dating and relationships, offering his male perspective.
Since it was Halloween this week, we have to talk about ghosting and zombie-ing!
Matt: Ghosting is when the relationship just falls off suddenly – one person just decides they want to disappear with no explanation.
Gina: It’s a cruel thing to do to somebody!
Matt: It’s cowardly.
Gina: And I’m not talking about one date – this is like somebody you’ve been seeing on a regular basis. It makes you feel used and disposable.
Matt: We’re all adults here. Let’s sit down and discuss it.
Gina: People don’t want to sit down and discuss it because they don’t want the reaction from the other person.
Gina: You’re a guy – guys don’t want to talk out their feelings. Correct?
Matt: True, we’re a little guarded.
Gina: Then you just ghost because you don’t want to hurt their feelings, you don’t want to see them crying, you don’t wanna answer all the ‘why’ questions
Matt: Yeah, that’s what I think separates a boy from a man. If you’re willing to sit down and elaborate on why it’s time to break things off, I think you’re gonna get the respect and appreciate that “hey at least he was man enough to say this is how it is.” It’s the guys who get that death stare day to day that don’t have the testicular fortitude to do something about it.
Gina: They’re not mature enough to be in a relationship and they can’t just say this isn’t gonna work – instead, they need to think about the damage they’re doing to somebody. I had a friend who did this to someone and I was yelling at him, like don’t do it – that girl, she’s always gonna remember that.
Matt: She’ll always think of you as the guy that took off on her. That sticks with a woman more than anything. And you know, it comes back and bites us in the rear eventually – we don’t think through our problems far enough. In the end, we end up kicking ourselves, why’d we walk away? There’s a term for that too, Zombie-ing.
Gina: Zombie-ing is after someone ghosts you, but then they zombie you – they “come back from the dead!”
Matt: And “zombie” back into the relationship.
Gina: They come back and say “it was nothing you did, it was me” – it’s the cruelest thing you can do to someone, so don’t do it.