By Gary Craig

President Donald Trump had his physical exam this week and there have been questions as to whether his military doctor–who is also a rear admiral–is giving us facts or fake news.

Dr. Ronny Jackson concluded that Trump weighs 239 lbs. and his cholesterol is at 223, even though he’s on medication.

So, enter Gary Craig to help us understand what his doctor REALLY means.

Doctor: Many good findings that came from his exam. He had great findings across the board, but the one thing that stands out to me more than anything is–
Gary: His huge gut!

Doctor: He is in the excellent range from a cardiac standpoint…
Gary:  The only range they use is to fry up his food.

Doctor: A lot of energy and a lot of stamina, look at his vision – he’s 71-years-old!
Gary: And he only looks to be 88.

Doctor: He washes his hands frequently and uses Purell.
Gary: As a condiment on his Big Macs

Doctor: Some people just have great genes .
Gary: His genes has a 64 waist and 29 inseam.

Doctor: His health overall is excellent. He will remain fit for duty for the remainder of this term and even for another term.
Gary: Another term… in jail!

 

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