Top Five Ways to Annoy Your Kids on a Snow Day

Nor'easter Nonsense

March 13, 2018

We're getting whalloped with yet another Nor'easter and, once again, my teenage sons are home from school irritating the crap out of me and each other. 

Of course, it wasn't that long ago when my boys were little guys who lived for snow days where we played games, went sledding and created fun art projects. I'll always cherish that.

But in the meantime, they're salty teenagers. So today, I'm going to have a little fun with them...

Presenting, "The Top Five Ways to Annoy Your Kids on a Snow Day."

1. Change the wifi password to "I_dont_know." When they ask what the password is you reply, "I don't know." 

2. Teach them all about the art of "hosptial corners." 

3. Allow them to watch their favorite shows on the DVR but ONLY if they sit through the commericals. To ensure they're paying attention, require an essay analyzing the production value of each advertisment. 

4. Hold class anyway. Start with Moby Dick, move on to Anna Karenina and end with Great Expectations.

5. Two words: Punishment Cinema. Put on your kids' least favorite genre of movie and make them watch the whole damn thing. If they get up, restart from the beginning. Need suggestions? Terms of Endearment, Steel Magnolias and the best (worst) one--Beaches

If they actually do any of the above, make sure you reward everyone--the kids get back their video games, and you get your wine.

Cheers to the snow day!