Things You Should NOT Do At Starbucks

May 23, 2018

Starbucks' new rule allows you to sit in their bathroom as long as you want, even if you don't buy anything. But they still have some rules in place... Here's our list of things you should NOT do at Starbucks:

1. Let any customers staring at laptops overhear you exclaim "I'd love to read an unsold screenplay right now! Anybody have one?"

2. Eat your oatmeal with the ladle attached to the bathroom key. 

3. Use it as an office and put up framed photos of your family. 

4. Every 90 seconds, randomly blurt out a Game Of Thrones spoiler. 

5. Expect a woman in Lululemon pants cradling a tiny dog named Biscuit to take less than a half hour to give her order. 

6. Buy all the cake pops then invite all the homeless people outside to come in and help you finish them. 

7. Sit all day at a table with your own tip jar on it.

8. Bring a flask of bourbon, pour all of it into their containers of half and half, then sit back and watch the hilarity ensue.